Venturing on a Diwali voyage into treacherous waters

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Bachi Karkaria


It’s that time of year when i’m drawn to wreck and ruin by the siren song of Diwali Sales. They seduce me through the day and into the night. There’s no escape. They pounce on me from my morning newspaper, waylaying me across several sheets before i can reach the real Page 1 – that’s if i ever get to it, distracted as i am by the dazzling cut-price cornucopia. They tumble out of every screen, so where’s the question of a saver? You’re asking me why i haven’t rid myself of the addiction. Stoopid question. The effective detox centre has yet to be found. Or, all the existing ones have been seasonally converted into warehouses to feed our Obsessive Compulsive D-time Disorder.

Other festivals also cash in on the tradition that we must buy gold/ houses/ anything if the auspicious day is to be observed in the right spirit. For the spirit to celebrate correctly, the flesh must be weak – and surrender to the temptation to say buy-buy to our good sense. Diwali remains the Mother Lakshmi of them all.

Here, agriculture’s ‘slash and burn’ acquires a new meaning. Slash prices and burn huge holes in our pocket. In the north-east, the actual technique of clearing land for the next crop cycle is called ‘jhoom’. Diwali Sales time is more about ‘dhoom’ for the supplier, and a similar-sounding fate for the consumed consumer.

So i remain irremediably glued to app and link. The keying finger moves, and having keyed in, moves on to the next irresistible offer. The Amazon beckons, and i Prime myself to follow its heady course. Methinks the earlier explorers had an easier time. The two Franciscos, Bates, Fawcett, ex-Prez Teddy Roosevelt et al didn’t have to hack their way through such a dense rainforest of discounts, and jungle fever was a breeze compared to the dangers of fevered jingles advertising these steamy Sales.

What choice do i have but to go Wilde and follow Oscar’s dictum that ‘the best way to resist temptation is to yield to it’. So i’m awash in soaps, and crime to accessories. Yes, i’m guilty as charged. Ask my credit card company.

That WhatsApped quip was right. ‘Save big money during Diwali. Simply delete those apps.’

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Alec Smart said: “Being unable to raise a sturdy Opposition is a sign of electile dysfunction”

DISCLAIMER : This article is intended to bring a smile to your face. Any connection to events and characters in real life is coincidental.

via TOI Blog

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