Glenlivet Launched Whisky Pods And People Are Worried Teens Will Do This Weird Thing With Them
On 2 October 2019, Glenlivet, the revered whisky maker, launched a new product – The Glenlivet Capsule Collection – little jelly-like pods of whiskey.
The promised premise is that you don’t need ice, stirrers or glasses to consume it. (because “drink” is really not the word to use here). The tweet said, “We’re redefining how whisky can be enjoyed.”
And apart from just not being into the idea of whisky pods, people are really worried teens are really going to redefine how whisky can be enjoyed.
Are people having trouble pouring it into a glass?
— Aaron E. Carroll (@aaronecarroll) October 5, 2019
And then the real concerns.
My first thought: please don’t think of how many people are going to put these in their butts
My second thought: so many people are gonna put these in their butts
— 💀👻 Helle 🎃 MarBOOska👻💀 (@ellle_em) October 5, 2019
Guys I don’t know how to tell you this.
Teens are gonna put these in their butts.
— Sarah York 🌈 (@thesarahyork) October 5, 2019
This destroys the experience of tasting a good scotch.
You can’t nose it.
You can’t sip it.
You can’t fold your tongue, & then flatten your tongue inside your mouth, exposing different flavor receptors.
You can’t break a bottle over someone’s head.
Never listen to marketing.
— Jackie Summers (@jackfrombkln) October 4, 2019
But you can put it in your butt.
Which is a whole new whisky experience.
— Jarrett Sullivan, The Dapper DM (@JarrettSullivan) October 5, 2019
Suit 1: Millennials aren’t buying our scotch. Why?
Suit 2: Probably because all they do is vape and eat tide pods.
S1: Crazy pitch, but hear me out…
— 222 Minutes (@222Minutes) October 5, 2019
Here’s how this um works. In case you’re wondering but don’t want that in your search history (we understand).
Yes. There are many veins there, resorption is great. That is why suppositories also work. The bad news is, a part of the anal blood goes directly to the brain, without going through the liver. So you might be very drunk, very quick. Without any taste. Such a waste!
— Claudia Mellenthin🇨🇭 (@C_Mellenthin) October 5, 2019