‘I will always be proud of you’,our kids yearn to listen from us

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Anjali Sharma


A well-accomplished man once quizzed his son, “Beta bade hokar kya banoge, doctor?”, “No dad, never a doctor”, son replied, “Then pilot, scientist, sportsman, what?”, baffled dad asked again. “I want to be a gardner”, son retorted gingerly. A startling reaction came from daddy, “So be a gardner but make sure you become the best one” . How many of us would react to this situation as this dad did? Only a handful. For the rest of us, our reaction to this would be fueled by influences like, ‘hey bhagwan, log kya kahenge!’, or, ‘iske future ka kya hoga’. I remember a proud mommy giving a pat on her son’s back for scoring 60 percent result in his boards by posting a heartfelt message on Facebook. Wonder what she must have given priority to while evincing this response? I’m sure, ‘just her son’. And undeniably, it must have pumped him with ineffable buoyancy and self-glorification.

The very moment a child gets into class 10 th or 12 th , an unexpressed fear, monotony and stress take over the parents, perhaps the ‘kya hoga’ named monster starts dancing around them. Willy-nilly this seeps down to the kids as well and the day board result is declared, the poor kid is more concerned about his parents than his own result. How can we forget all the calls from neighbours and the rest of the community that tirelessly shower them with cautionary tales and wisdom lectures around the whole year? ‘Kitne number aaye?’, a question they feel they deserve to be answered.

‘I will always be proud of you no matter what’, are the some of the fewest words our kids yearn to listen from us. We talk high about ‘dignity of labour’ which accentuates that all jobs are equal but allow favouritism to take over it while choosing professions. How can we compare a dancer with a doctor? They both are different as chalk and cheese, calling for utterly different abilities. Life and a healthy mind are more important than any high profile career earned at the cost of both. At school be it sports, dance, dramatics, music, arts or economics, maths and science, every subject is a career and every student has a potential to perform outstandingly at least in any one of these depending whether he is dominated by right or left brain. The leading role of the parents in this rat race is to understand and observe the basic skill set and behaviour of their child and allow them to perform in their chosen arena. They will surely win. Let the monkey climb the tree and the fish swim in the water, that’s the way they have been organically engineered. Nursery to post-grad and even beyond, a student’s calibre is gauged against the marks he scores. What about experiential learning? David Kolb would have cried like a baby seeing these youngsters turning into parrots. Cramming only create brooding robots who never grow out of their textbooks. We can only apply knowledge when we connect with it, which comes through our natural inclination for that field, a pull effect. So let these kids be pulled by the career streams they are meant for.

DISCLAIMER : Views expressed above are the author’s own.

via TOI Blog

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